Just Another Day at Work!
Last week at our family funeral home, we encountered a situation that hit a nerve with me. It wasn’t the only unusual case we handled that week, but this particular one highlighted the unique challenges that #death care providers must #navigate. While we try our very best to approach these situations with professionalism and discretion, it’s often difficult to convey just how awkward our role can be. This true story not only serves as a window into our world, but also emphasizes the importance of #pre-planning #funerals.
Taking a death call is a frequent and crucial part of our world at the funeral home. When a death call comes in, a “First Call Sheet” is completed. This form provides us with the first glimpse of the deceased. It also collects vital information about the deceased. Funeral homes typically receive this information from either a hospice nurse, hospital staff, or a medical examiner. These are the professions that can relay and release a deceased individual into a funeral home’s care with the next of kin’s permission. It sets in motion everything that will take place over the next few days.
Think of the information on this sheet as cliff notes about the deceased. Details like their full name, date of birth, address, and time of death are written down. It also helps to knowing if the deceased was a veteran so a final honor walk can be done. It sounds simple right? However, gathering this information isn’t always straightforward.
Envision This for a Moment
Imagine you’re asleep and hear a late-night knock on your door. You wonder, who the heck is at your front door at this time of night. When you get up, open the door, you see two people standing at your door and a funeral home vehicle in your driveway. As you are processing what you see, one person introduces themselves and politely asks if this is Mr. Smith’s residence …. and it’s not! Sounds funny, right? (Maybe even a skit for #SNL) This may be funny later, however at that moment in time, no one sees any humor in it. Especially the care transport team. These professionals rely on accurate information. A transposed number or misheard address can and has led to such scenarios. Innocent mistakes create unnecessary stress, confusion, and not to mention, tremendous embarrassment (please note, this did not happen last week). 
Why is This Important?
The first call information document serves as a vital #identification system throughout the deceased’s entire care process. Much similar to the wristband system process used in hospitals. Just like when a patient’s medication is administered in a hospital their wristband is checked, the first call information is securely linked to the deceased from the moment they enter funeral homes until they are taken to their final resting place. This guarantees precise identification at every stage of body storage, preparation, and final arrangements, whether it involves burial or cremation. In fact when cremation is involved it stays with the deceased until their remains are returned to their loved ones.
Frustration at its Best
Now that you understand a funeral home’s protocol when a death call is taken, my story should make sense. A death call came in during the middle of the night. The deceased was in the morgue and was to be rereleased into our care in the morning. At the morning meeting the staff discussed the day’s events and the first call information was printed and assigned to a director.
Initially, from a funeral home perspective, this appeared to be a straightforward case: a deceased individual with a pre-arranged #funeral and a designated “niece” listed as the contact for the next of kin or informant. However, after a closer look chilling discrepancy was revealed.
Once a first call form is completed, there is a second standard #protocol. Funeral directors cross-checks the deceased’s name and information with their pre-arrangement records. The good news for us, was the deceased had made a pre-arrangement. Upon review of their file, there was no reference to a “niece” but specific instructions were left for two adult daughters.
An Immediate Red Flag!
Our director reached out to the locally listed daughter, to offer support and guidance. However, the daughter received a devastating surprise. She had no prior knowledge of her mother’s passing, let alone her illness and hospice care. Understandably, this news was overwhelming, triggering a mix of shock, grief, and confusion. Taking a deep breath, after collecting herself she wanted to meet with the director so she and her sister could navigate this unexpected and painful situation.
Later That Day
The daughters arranged an initial conference call with the funeral director. During the discussion, the director inquired about the “niece” listed as a contact. To their surprise, the person listed as a “niece” was a friend of their mother who helped out from time to time. This discovery prompted the out-of-town sister’s husband to alert the deceased’s credit union. Much to everyone’s astonishment, the “niece” held power of attorney, but her name wasn’t on the bank account itself. This led to the accounts being frozen until the family provided a death certificate. While relieved to prevent potential future misuse of funds, the silver lining at this moment in time was the deceased had both pre-arranged and pre-paid for the funeral. The daughters found solace in their guidance amidst the confusion and unexpected discovery.
Towards the end of the day, the individual previously identified as the “niece” contacted the funeral home. Expressing frustration at not being contacted earlier, she asserted her possession of the deceased’s power of attorney. The director calmly explained that while the power of attorney may have been valid during the deceased’s lifetime, it loses its legal authority upon death. As per legal guidelines, the next of kin now holds decision-making responsibility. Unfortunately, the call ended abruptly before the director could fully explain the situation.
Here are 5 Take-Aways From This Case
- The Importance of Pre-Planning: This case highlights the value of having a funeral pre-arrangement in place. It provides clear instructions and reduces potential confusion during an emotional time. Without the pre-arrangement, navigating the situation would have been significantly more complex.
- Standard Operating Procedures: While standard procedures aim to ensure accuracy, they can sometimes lead to unexpected outcomes. In this instance, cross-referencing with pre-arrangement files revealed discrepancies and alerted the funeral home to a potential issue.
- Power of Attorney Limitations: It’s crucial to remember that any Power of Attorney ceases to be valid upon the individual’s death. Legal authority then shifts to the next of kin.
- Elderly Vulnerability: This case unfortunately brings attention to the issue of elder exploitation. It emphasizes the importance of being aware of potential risks and staying connected with loved ones to help protect them.
- Open Communication: Maintaining open and honest communication with family members, particularly regarding final wishes and financial matters, can help ensure their well-being and prevent potential conflicts.
You Can Only Make a Decision With the Information Provided
In closing, there are so many variables about this case that could have gone sideways. While funeral homes strive to provide professional and compassionate care, their ability to do so relies heavily on the information provided by families and those who report that death has occurred. This case demonstrates how discrepancies in information, especially regarding next-of-kin and Power of Attorney, can create potential for confusion and complications. While fortunate circumstances led the “niece” to our facility, the outcome could have been significantly different elsewhere.
This highlights the importance of open #communication within families regarding final wishes and ensuring legal documents are up-to-date and readily accessible. Equally important is clear communication between families and funeral homes, promptly clarifying any discrepancies and working collaboratively to ensure the best possible outcome for everyone involved.
Let me know your thoughts!
Be sure to check out Episode 18 of my podcast, I Woke Up Dead…Now What?, to learn more!
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